What can a couple expect when they enter a therapist’s office for Christian marriage counseling or therapy? The similarities to any counselor’s office would be that the couple’s patterns of communication, connection and conflict resolution will be explored and practical tools given. What may be different, is that the Christian marriage counselor will have a belief in the sanctity of marriage and that couples should honor their marital vows and commitments and work to weather storms and stay together. If a couple view their relationship as a lifetime commitment, they are more likely to persevere through the inevitable rough patches that occur in a marriage. Exceptions surely exist such as a situation where one spouse is in physical danger or there is disregard to the marital vows.
Christian marriage counseling also be guided by the Biblical truths regarding marriage as a unique opportunity for a couple to display the unconditional love of God to each other. The apostle Paul says in Ephesians 5 that marriage uniquely and mysteriously illustrates the relationship between Christ and His Church. Rather than each member of the marriage being guided by questions such as “How fulfilled am I?”, “How happy am I”, or, “Could I find someone better?”, the goals of Christian marriage are to fulfill the calling to love and serve one another and in so doing to glorify God and to display to the world a real life picture of God’s love. In adopting these goals, the couple does then achieve the joy and fulfillment they long for. A Christian marriage therapist not only helps the couple grow in their own communication and ability to connect with each other, but also to move toward these God ordained patterns of marriage.